January 13, 1999
9:46 PM

Yup, thou shoudst be forewarned: my email will be as long as permitted!

Greetings! I got my MS woikin' today, 'cause of the one and only Matt Marcus who 'splained how to fitz it. Sorry, just can't talk like me around here (yet), so you're getting the brunt of my poissonality!

Things are wondermous. I haven't felt this good and secure in a long time, which is weird. I won't go into it at all of y'all, but if you want elaboration I'll give it to you! It's just this unbelievable peace and joy that's brought around by knowing you're where you're supposed to be. These people are great, everyone's friendly, but not cult-friendly. You know what I mean? Cult-friendlies are the people who are in your face 24/7, and then once you've been there for a while, they treat you rotten. I'm not seeing any of that here, just a lot of genuine niceness to the new girl. Which feels great.

Fortunately, my reputation has not preceeded me, so no one expects too much, but at the same time, they don't treat me like an invalid, either. Health-wise, I'm doing pretty dern good, taking my vitamin C (tell my mom, okay?), and my roommate is really great about my personal needs (i.e. the power bars and naps and stuff). I guess it's just a complete start-over. A second chance. A much-needed second chance. I could, however, use some nice emails....(yes, Ry, I'll write ya tonite, and thanks Ginger & Jeremy!)

Um, class-wise, for those who don't know already, I'm taking Intro to Comm, Western Civ, Bible, Drama workshops (tech & acting) and General Psychology. Couldn't get into English, so I'm stuck with Psych. It's great, our book is titled, "Exploring Psychology". How frightening is that? Exploring the motives of human nature and the mind...ew. I have a problem with that. Great conversation pieces, though.

They serve Pepsi in the cafeteria. I haven't yet met the person who signed that deal, but when I do, I'll get a picture taken and autographed and send it home. They also have a Pepsi machine in the lobby of our dorm. and in every building. Along with the absolutely wonderful flyers for the Caedmon's Call concert posted on every door (ours isn't there now, though...aughhh!), and my new-found X-Philes, I am adjusting splendidly.

The bad news? I guess the worst is that I have to take remedial math because, well, I suck. Bigtime. One of the peeps I know well is Bethany, a math major. Think SuperMiek, but a brown-haired girl. Yup. Dat's her. She knows all the punks here. She's really nice, tho. Even if she _is_ a moshgrrl. =0)

My RA's a Communications major too, so we can chill and talk production mumbo-jumbo. She is apparently a great actress - great accents! - and funnier but cornier than me. Whoa.

Welpersgeegolly, I'm off to a British sitcom viewing!


To Ryan

January 15, 1999
12:11 PM

Heya, RY!

It's hard 'cause I feel bad taking up all the time on the phone line from my dorm room!! =0) Um, I'm good. I just had Bible, which is gonna be hard, 'cause I have to write a complete commentary on the New Testament by Spring Break! Communications class is great, I met my drama teacher, Belisle, and he's really cool. Western Civ rocks, 'cause the guy's a conspiracy theorist, too!!! And I have psych today, next (after lunch). I am happy to be working on another production! And guess what? I got an email from Kirby Trapolino (the manager of Caedmon's) today! Yeah! Prez of Grassroots Distrubution, too! Nifterly.

Oh, life's good. And my roommate really likes Caedmon's too!

Okay, I'm hungry, so I'm gonna jet to lunch! More later, I promise!

~Rags~ya know, you're the only person who I know personally to which I can sign that way!

January 17, 1999
8:16 PM

Hey, youse! I have to read the first stinkin 30-page chapter in psych (i'm on pg. 9) by 1:30 tomorrow! & do questions! but it is interesting. i am a skeptic by definition of my book in regards to the science (no offense, piek), but because of my past...experiences...i am wary of the methods used. but they bring out quite a few good points here. and they have some great quotes (i've added 'em to my siggie). but here are a few others that i really like:

"My deeply held belief is that if a god anything like the traditional sort exists, our curiosity and intelligence are provided by such a god. We would be unappreciative of those gifts...if we suppressed our passion to explore the universe and ourselves." -Carl Sagan, 1979

and a Polish proverb (the dude was prolly a Vroblesky...) states, "To believe with certainty, we must begin by doubting." I really like that. I think i'm certain in my faith, but my doubts and God's assurance against those doubts are what make faith certain. interesting. to me at least.

anyhoo, i'll write y'all who've written me as soon as i can (poissonally), but it's weird here. i'd have gotten all my work done, but jill came in and we talked for 2.5 hours today. so...well... x-files is in 45 minutes, too, so...oooohh. i gotta go!


"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think."
- Adolf Hitler

"A skeptic is one who is willing to question any truth claim, asking for clarity in definition, consistency in logic, and adequacy of evidence."
- Paul Kurtz, _The Skeptical Inquirer_ (1994)

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, 1949

Letter to Nick
January 20, 1999 12:31 AM

How are you doing? good.
how's college life? different.
how are you feeling, mentally and physically? better than i have in years. really.
how are classes? *classes* are great. homework isn't exactly easy.
what classes are you taking?

Western Civilization
Bible Overview
General Psychology
Drama Workshop for Acting
Drama Workshop for Tech
Math for the Real World

how many days till Caedmon''s? 8, as of tomorrow
did you watch x-files last week? cow abductions....
(skinner is not going to die this week!!!) Skinner's what keeps the X-Files open, period. he'll never die. no matter what Krycek pulls.

I guess the tinge of homesickness came as I read your letter. I'm jealous. Really, I guess that's it. You guys get to hang out, spend time with each other and I'm here. Still alone. No 'bosom friends'. Sorry, Anne of Green Gables reference. No kindred spirits. I guess I really miss y'all. More now. Maybe I should stop writing. I dunno. I'm not homesick. I'm Alice-and-Nicksick. Hehe. Real cute. I just miss you guys a lot.

I'm not up for words of encouragement at this moment. I was until like, 10 minutes ago, but now I'm just depressingly jealous. It's the first time I've felt emotionally insecure or discontent since I've been here. It stings that I haven't gotten a real personal letter from Alice yet. I've sent her a snail-mail, longer than yours, but I'm 90% positive she won't write back. I'm leaving that 10% in hopes that she'll surprise me. And remember me.

I did get emails from Ginger. That helped. And Jeremy and I are communicating a lot more than anyone else. I haven't written him this week - it's been busy.

I really was doing great until this whole jealousy thing happened. Satan. I know it. He hates me now that I'm talking with God. That I'm learning. That I'm actually using my head. Nikki down the hall just came in while I was so indulged with typing (that's what we get for leaving the door wide open) and I jumped a mile. Great. Now I'm crying. I didn't think this was gonna happen.

I don't know why I tell you all this junk. I'll stop.

My parents are coming next weekend. That's good. Ruth may be coming home with me this summer and doing CYIA. She can't go home - too expensive - so she is considering coming with me. Of course, my parents don't know anything about this yet...

Well, I guess I'll quit before I get too far behind.

I'll write you some sappy little letter when I can.

Really, I'm doing great. Just missing you people. I wish I could see y'all on the weekends. I will pray that you'll be able to adjust into peace with what God's doing for you. He's really got your best interest at heart - my life's proving that - and He'll show you His beauty in grace and mercy when you least expect it. But you'll know it. This, coming from TV-less, kindred-spirit-less Beth. At least you have Alice. You have some familiarity.

Glad you're having fun. Have some for me, okay? I have no time except weekends - at night - when a few of us will jaunt into Chattanooga for coffee (OOOOHHHH -- assuming you live up to your word and come, you'll have to go to Rembrandts with me. WOW!) take a stroll over the Walking Bridge and catch a movie. That's about all the 'fun' I get. I was too busy to make it to Bible study tonight, too. Darnit.

---Spender doesn't die (at least not yet). his actor was interviewed in Tv guide and he said there will be a two parted in february the will develope his character more. he will realize what the x-files really are. so, i still think Fowley and The Elder will be capped off. ( i hope)---

Didst I ever say he would be killed any time soon? No. Not I. I just said I'd been informed that he'd be the one. Actually, I really don't want him to die. I don't like him, but the characterization has so much potential. I hold your sentiments towards Fowley and The Elder as my own. In case I hadn't verbalized that before.

To Aaron Tate

January 20, 1999
1:04 PM

Book suggestions. Yeah. My all-time favorite book is "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis. It seems that a lot of people have read it and really enjoyed it, but it still seems to be one of his lesser-known works. It totally changed my viewpoint on religion in general, and it, taken with the way some prosists and poets (such as Rich and Tori Amos), bring another thought pattern about specific issues that Christians deal with. I'm from an Independent Baptist background, so it's really refreshing to be exposed to ideas and Biblical possibilities. I guess I tend to grab onto these things and milk them for all they're worth.

Another book that really messed with my personal presuppositions of Jesus was "Blood of Heaven", by Bill Myers, another fiction piece. This is entertaining - I could see it happening as if it were a movie - but it really gave me some insight into Jesus' persona. I struggle with Who He was, as a man and God. I write my imperfections off way too quickly, but in reading "Blood", it convicted me to study how He saw things. And how He sees things.

I also tend to get a whole lot of ideas from REM. If that's good, I don't know, I'll have to think about that...

That's about it for now. Thanks so much for your reply. Now it's off to psych class...did I have homework? Aughhh!


Letter to Jeremy

January 21, 1999 3:09 PM

I started handwriting you a letter, but then realized, "this is Jeremy, he's too technologically advanced to appreciate a *real* letter".

So I stopped.

You say, "Hi can I speak with Carrie or Mary Kathryn?"

Kind of like inviting Mike and Jessi somewhere. Or Nick and Ginger. Whoever you're more comfortable with. If neither, than ask for either. Sense made?

Okay. I didn't wake up 'til 10:30 - class at 11. So I didna have time to shower, which sucked, but I grabbed a Kudo bar (my breakfast for the past 2 weeks).

I figured out the weather here. If it's bright and sunshiny, it's cold. If it's misty and gray or just plain cloudy, it's short-sleeve temperature. And summer thundershowers are typical in January.

I came back to my room after lunch. There was this horrendous odor. Totally disgusting. Like when you're boiling beans in a pot, but you forget about it, then the water evaporates so the pot starts to burn, then the beans, and then the beans and pot catch on fire and the plastic handle starts to melt. Terrible smell. Overwhelming. Blech. It's everywhere. The smell seemed to cease as I returned to my room, but Jill, my suitemate, came in and was like, "Check out the bathroom. I think something's wrong." And the odor was there, too, just not quite as bad as downstairs. So I fear the sewers may have backed up during the night. I don't want to take a shower now, 'cause the bathroom's so dern nasty.


Anudda subject.

My communciations teacher is cool. I think I've said that before, but today he proved it again. He's giving us a 20 point extra credit if we go to the school's production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." And our overall grade's supposed to be 1000, so it's a decent extra credit. And I talked with my Civ prof., who's really nice. He lives in our building.

But anyhoo, I gotta jet. Gotta get my ticket for "Charlie Brown". =0)

Let me know what's up with you, okay? How was skiing?


January 21, 1999 3:24 PM

Okay. I don't speak Latin, I don't know what that means, but 'somos sapos' soundz cool. My friend Lynn subbied an email that way, and it stuck in my head.

Today, we were in Western Civilization, and talking about Louis XIV. We were discussing his ways of controlling France, his absolutism strategies, and everything that it encompassed. For those of you don't know, he had these people who were called "intendents" who were nobles, politicians, or people with some stature in society. He paid these people who were devout to him basically be spies everywhere. Prof. Ricketts went on to explain this, and the more he explained it, the more I realized Louis XIV was like Spot. Of course, Spot wasn't claiming to be ordained by God, but Spot had the highest position among the New York newsies (or so it was heavily implied). Now if Spot had a Bastille, that's another thing. But think of the piers as Spot's Versailles. And his 'boidies'. And we always wonder how Spot gained all that power. Hitler was a very small man physically, but look at the power he had. Did Spot brainwash Brooklyn? There was obviously no dissidence amongst his newsies, they obeyed his every command, and I don't like to believe our sweet Spot was a lunatic like Hitler, but the question remains, "What gave Spot Conlon clout?" The methods devised, the intricacies involved in a non-hostile but totalitarian overtake of Brooklyn (of all places) is something to be looked into. I will give this as much thought as possible, given my suggestion. Any other conspiracy theorists out there are welcomed to join me in the quest for the truth of Spot Conlon's reign in New York.


Rags got carried away!

January 21, 1999 11:25 PM

Good evening, my dear friends. What a good evening I had, indeed. This evening I went to a basketball game (my suitemate plays and plays well). Then I went to a play. Then I went to a Caedmon's meeting. I get to work on the lovely stage crew from noon until night. All the stinkin' Caedmon's you could ask for. Aren't you happy for me? Maybe I'll get so sick of Caedmon's that I'll give all my what - 6? CD's away. Oooh. There's an idea. Doubt it'll happen, though.

...This has been edited for content (to protect my beloved room/suitemates).

As for me, I just don't want a stupid broken heart. So I'm staying as far away from guys as possible. Emotionally, that is. I'm NOT here for crap. I'm here to learn. And I'm really happy this way. I'm just avoiding all emotional attachment like the plague.

I got an A on my first test. I have a speech Tuesday. Wow. And (you might want to relay this to Ryan) one of the books on my Western Civ reading list is one about the Roosevelts. And some other stuff that I'm interested in. Pretty dern nifty.

At the risk of sounding boring and/or repetitive, everything's good. Nothing's really bad. I may not have to take that math class, after all. I have a deciding test on Monday, and I get to study over the weekend.

Regardless of everything, I miss y'all and want to come back before March.

Love you all!


January 25, 1999 7:46 PM Hola, mis amigos! Que esta? Bien es me esperanza! Okay. Today. I was sick as a...hmm. 'Sick as a dog' is stupid. Dog's aren't constantly throwing up or anything, so what the heck does 'Sick as a dog' mean? I was sick today. Really disgusting-feeling. So I cut chapel and slept until 15 minutes before class. It was nasty. I made it through Bible class (I was the only one with the correct verse for the definition of 'gospel'...oooh, ahhhh, thanks, CEF!) and somehow made it to lunch. Started feeling better, then went to Psych class, then went to hang out with Ruth. She has to introduce me tomorrow for Communications class, so she interviewed me. We made a bet on who would get married first. I told her I had no intentions of it, and she said guys were the furthest thing from her mind, so we bet that whoever got married first would have to cut their hair. Of course, we didn't say how short.... We talked a long time (until 3:30) about school, and how much we're paying for our educations. We both agreed that if we were going to pay $25 every time we walked through the door to go to a class, we were gonna get our money's worth. We are going to ask every question we need to and make sure our profs knew we are serious about this thing. We both want at least 3.8's, and both of our parents had said it was okay if we just tried hard. We figure we owe it to them for everything they've done for us. And maybe they won't have to pay for too much of next semester. This is expensive. And the food's not that great. Math class was okay. Laura postponed my test til Wednesday. Good for me. I'm introducing James tomorrow. That should be fun. I made up all this stuff about him being this amazing author and director and stuff (hey, Mr. Palmer said *nothing* about it needing to be true), so it will be a blast. What else? I dunno. More later! Must go study and work and study and read and so on and so forth! ~Beth~ who gets to watch The Princess Bride this weekend January 26, 1999 8:53 PM Guess what? I just got your message. And it was soooo nice to hear from you! I hope to be the tool in which your long distance correspondence skills are sharpened. =0) If you want to go to a good school where they allow you to think and not solely indoctrinate, in a beautiful setting and great professors and students, come to Bryan. Seriously. It's amazing here. Not perfect, but God has blessed me farther and more abundantly than I ever imagined He would. I knew He was capable of it, but I was having such a dry spell, such a struggle for the past, oh, five years? This was basically a desperate jump for me. I knew if I stayed in Columbia, where the whole big fish-small pond syndrome was more a disease, my entire soul would explode. I embrace changes once I know it's for real. I love it. Which is really good, I think it's healthy, at least for me. I get so emotionally attached to people that it becomes a dependency, which is really some kind of curse, so being able to break away from people who I love so dearly, like Nick and Alice, is actually better for me. I was amazed at how I'd become such good friends with Nick! I honestly have to say that you Columbians, the homeschool and FBC group, in particular, are the nicest, truest people I've ever met. But I guess there is truth in 'too much of a good thing'. I was so accustomed to being drawn in and drawing in, I was beginning to think the world worked like that. But it doesn't. Not at all. There are great people here, real friends (potential), but I'm new and still fitting in, which feels wonderful. I no longer have the responsibility of being the oldest or stuff like that, and honestly, I feel better than I have in a long time. And God's here. I don't know how He got me here, I guess He made me so desperate for a change that I'd do anything to get away, even do what He wanted. God's so weird. I wish He'd just write Tekel Tekel Mene Uparsin again, right on the wall, so we know what we're supposed to do. There is a way that seems right to a man...yeah. Wow. Ya know, the Bible's right about a lot of stuff... I guess I just want to tell you personally to be grateful for FBC (and even BL). Your youth group is close to the way a church is supposed to be run. Which is wonderful. Scott may have a lot to do with that, but I think you, the students, have a deep longing (if sometimes covered up really well) to do God's will. And God tends to bless that longing, no matter how distracted or ornery you get. I know. I want to encourage you to pray for the youth group. Yeah, the whole church is important, but you guys can actually do something about your group, and you all are shaping the future of the church. In a few short years Russell, you may be an associate pastor. Nathan may be the worship leader. It's sooner than you think. Pray for everyone in the youth group. Encourage accountability. Love everyone more than you love your brother or sister. Learn to love your siblings, too. Take care and get to know everyone's person. You are a family ordained by God, for a short time, or a really long time. Nurture that. Y'all have a good thing. And y'all have great people, too. You've been blessed, enjoy it and keep it good. It's cool. At the center of all my selfishness, there was yearning in my heart to be where I was supposed to be and to do what I was supposed to do. Call it the Peter problem. I did a lot of stuff in the meantime, just because I had to, I was bored and getting lazy, but when God makes His perfect will known, BOOM! You know it. It's so neat. I'm just sitting here in awe, what He's done for me. He's so great. Okay. I've talked too much. Caedmon's is Thursday. I'm so pumped! =0D And I got an A on my first test! Yeah! I love you so much! I gotta get my Bible paper done before Bible study (9:30). Beth PS - can you tell Nick (privately) that I'm sorry for my last email. I was having a rough time...=0I P.P.S. - YOU MUST GET BURLAP TO CASHMERE'S CD!!! YOU MUST!!! UNBELIEVABLE! P.P.S.S. - We played Covenant tonight (Brandon Alger/Ty Tyler). We lost. Big. Are we surprised? No. P.P.P.S.S. - Did you know that Keri Russell won best actress at the Golden Globes? She did! P.P.P.S.S.S. - I really gotta go!